Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Harriet: oprah's telling me i'm ugly

Ozzie: you are

Harriet: i'm getting fatter

my cat doesn't care

Ozzie: your cat is a moron

Harriet: why can't pets reciprocate

i pet oscar

why can't he pet me?

selfish

Ozzie: awfully so
...

Harriet: should we go work at the bunny ranch?

Ozzie: yes

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: i promise

i will never own a blackberry unless i am forced to by work

Harriet: hahaha

Ozzie: i will never own an ipod

i mean

iphone

Harriet: ok

Ozzie: what else should i never own

Harriet: um

a vibrator

Ozzie: ok well that one was understood

christ

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Harriet: what are you doing

besides being a whore

Ozzie: touching my new t-shirts

Harriet: hahahahaha

Ozzie: why the hell do they come in a resealable bag

Harriet: nothing like a new pair of socks

Ozzie: why would i need to reseal t-shirts

Harriet: really?

hahaha

you should totally reseal your tshirts

i'd have more respect for you

Ozzie and Clementine: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: so if i ever get a botfly i cut off the air

got it

that is awesome

Clementine: perfect

Ozzie: i'm bleeding love, bitch

...

and botflys

Clementine: i just drank an excessive amount of diet pepsi

i think i may vomit.

Ozzie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

random thoughts of the day

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: what is the problem with your bionic leg?

Harriet: it just sometimes doesn't work

Ozzie: have you oiled it recently

Harriet: don't ask such stupid questions

Ozzie and Harriet: Full Circle

Ozzie: do you ever flash your hooters?

Harriet: there are a couple hooters that live in my campo

Ozzie: are their names porgy and bess?

Harriet: no

Ozzie: koala farts smell like coughdrops

Harriet: i know!

that makes me so happy

Ozzie: let's find me a date with good taste in music and a penchant for walking barefoot

true love finds you in the end

Harriet: hehe

you just described me!

Ozzie: you're my true love

it's true

Harriet: too bad you don't like my hooters

Ozzie: HAHAHHAAHAHAHA

you brought it full circle

impressive

Harriet: i do that

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: studying stats sucks, esp the first half of the year

do you have sex for money?

Harriet: obvi

how do you think i get by down here

Ozzie: hmm

you better hold onto those aids tests

Harriet: i know

Ozzie: hahaha

i'm beginning to remember some of this shit

Harriet: what shit

Ozzie: stats

first half of the year

open your ears, not your legs

Harriet: hahahahaha

good one

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: i'm happy i don't have herpes

Harriet: me too

Ozzie: or syphilis

Harriet: well syphilis is curable

Ozzie: whatever

i don't want it anyway

have you ever had an std

Harriet: nope

have you

Ozzie: not that i know of

Harriet: i mean if i'm going for one i would like a curable one

but i feel like they are less prominent

Ozzie: i'd like a sexy one

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: So answer the question. What's cooking, average looking?

Harriet: hotness up in your face

Ozzie: hahahahahahahaha

Harriet: haha

i'm glad you liked it

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Harriet: you are gross

Ozzie: do you think tyra banks has any friends

Harriet: no

Ozzie: me neither

Ozzie and Clementine: Coffee Talk

Ozzie: haha

if i kill my coworker do i get locked-up

Clementine: yes

Ozzie: i would be saving the world

Clementine: i've seen many episodes of law and order

you should trust me

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Harriet: yo biotch, you have a pudgy pokemon as your icon

what's up with that

Ozzie: i wanted to find something that looked like you

Harriet: i don't even like pokemon

geez

Ozzie: but you like me

and i'm a pokemon

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Harriet: there was one rogue mosquito under my desk

and he bit me four times

Ozzie: HAHAHAHAHA

he ate delicious Harriet blood

now he has hepatitis

Harriet: his loss

Ozzie and Clementine: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: why do i try so hard

why

wait

reverse that

why don't i try at all

Clementine: haha

what?

Ozzie: where?

who?

Clementine: you're talking nonsense

Ozzie: i appreciate the morals of transgendered strippers and am considering doing an expose on their lifestyles for the oxygen network

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: you're a hooker with a heart of brass

Harriet: hehe

Ozzie: i'm so hot, i radiate sine waves

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: don't you wanna make a puppet with a sock?

Harriet: sure

Ozzie: let's make many of them and fight them in an alleyway

do you think i'm weird

Harriet: yes

Ozzie: you're weirder

Harriet: i know

Ozzie: i just commented on some photos of you

Harriet: which ones

Ozzie: ones where you were sick, gross, and yuck

Harriet: sweet

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: i'm so tired

i'm so tired

drink the puppet

Harriet: you are weird

Ozzie: kick pandas

Harriet: stop it

i'm working

Ozzie: i'm good at killing trees