Ozzie and Harriet: Deep Thoughts

Ozzie: tell me you love me

Harriet: i love you!

Ozzie: oh good

i thought you were going to put up more of a fight

Harriet: haha

Ozzie: you are a bigot

Harriet: now why do you say that

Ozzie: because you hate minorities

i feel oppressed

Harriet: as a white man?

Ozzie: correct

Harriet: shouldn't i feel oppressed as the white woman

Ozzie: SEXIST

Harriet: hahah

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Harriet: there was one rogue mosquito under my desk

and he bit me four times

Ozzie: HAHAHAHAHA

he ate delicious Harriet blood

now he has hepatitis

Harriet: his loss

Ozzie and Harriet: On Love

Ozzie: never ever be a sniffling goober

Harriet: ok

Ozzie: day four of the dexter-freeze going well

i had a tough moment last night, but i rebounded well

Harriet: nice

what did you do

Ozzie: i walked away from my computer and i went and showered and let the hot water calm me down

then i had sex with a vietnamese prostitute named ming ping

Harriet: hahahah

awesome

Ozzie and Clementine: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: why do i try so hard

why

wait

reverse that

why don't i try at all

Clementine: haha

what?

Ozzie: where?

who?

Clementine: you're talking nonsense

Ozzie: i appreciate the morals of transgendered strippers and am considering doing an expose on their lifestyles for the oxygen network

Soliloquy: Ozzie

Ozzie: when i was leaving your apt the other night, two tranny hookers tried to pick me up

and asked if i was horny

of course i said yes and invited them back to your place, but forgot that i didn't have the key

Comebacks by Clementine

Ozzie: you know what i found out?

being a whore is genetic

you should talk to someone about that

Clementine: that was a really good one!

have you been waiting for me to wake up so you could say that?

Ozzie: yes

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Ozzie: you're a hooker with a heart of brass

Harriet: hehe

Ozzie: i'm so hot, i radiate sine waves