Oct 5, 2009

Ozzie and Harriet: Friendship

Ozzie: i miss you like a child misses his or her blanket
Harriet: aw
i miss you too
Ozzie: that was a joke
i hate you
Harriet: i thought you were going to do your standard, oh sorry, wrong box
you unoriginal ass
Ozzie: hahahahahah

Sep 25, 2009

Ozzie and Harriet: Music

Ozzie: i'm obsessed with bon iver
Harriet: oh yeah
i only have one song of his
Ozzie: which one
skinny love?
Harriet: blindsided
Ozzie: omg i'm listening to that now
Harriet: hasha
me too!
Ozzie: WHOA
wait, what is hasha?
Harriet: haha
with a typo
studpid is a great pet name

Clementine: Insults

Ozzie: do you realize i'm the cutest/smartest/most celibate in the world?
Clementine: celibate?
Ozzie: hahahahahahahah

Clementine: Pregnancy

Ozzie: hi
Clementine: hiii
Ozzie: i just found out
i'm pregnant
i'm going to name it pillow

Sep 22, 2009

Ozzie and Harriet: Random Thoughts

Harriet: oprah's telling me i'm ugly
Ozzie: you are
Harriet: i'm getting fatter
my cat doesn't care
Ozzie: your cat is a moron
Harriet: why can't pets reciprocate
i pet oscar
why can't he pet me?
Ozzie: awfully so
Harriet: should we go work at the bunny ranch?
Ozzie: yes

Ozzie and Harriet: On Dating

Ozzie: "Yes, people have used 'crazy' to describe me. Usually it's while we're laying in my bed, sweaty and entangled, he'll look over to me and pant in a hushed voice 'you're crazy amazing in bed.'

What about you?"
that is what i got back from the kid i am supposed to have a date with
how do i respond to that?!
Harriet: um
you don't go on a date with him
Ozzie: agreed

Sep 16, 2009

And We're Back

Ozzie: what makes you truly happy
Clementine: that's a very deep question
my family
weeping willows
Ozzie: boring
Clementine: strippers
Ozzie: better